Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
why do cheetos always look like penises
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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