Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
