I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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