he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need to calm my uterus...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
