Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
