Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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