i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
