dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
