omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
