You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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