I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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