I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
