How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
