Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize