I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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