Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
