dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize