Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
