ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize