K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
