They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
