I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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