Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
