so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
