His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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