That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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