He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
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We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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