He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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