Christians are straight up FREAKS
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
