your parents love me but you hate me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
