we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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