I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
