I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
