i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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