so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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