it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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