My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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