Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
