I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
