Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
