As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
