i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
