i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize
