In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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