she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have fence marks all over my body
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
