Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Are my feet made of real feet?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
