My balls are so social today.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
