just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
