Midget sex pt 2 tonight
high people should be assigned attendants
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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