He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
