Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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