i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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