So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
