I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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