We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
