Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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