Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
