im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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