Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The air was thick with penises
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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