Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
