he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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