i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize