I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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