How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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