just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
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