No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
